Le Plan;
Monday - 200 (-200)
Tues - 500 cals (-200)
Wed - 400 cals (-200)
Thurs - 200 cals (-200)
Fri - 350 cals (-200)
Sat - 500 cals
Sun - Fast
It's quite sketchy, so I don't mind if I mess up a bit, as long as I'm always under 500 cals. Also the (-200) is for weekdays as I walk to school and back which burns, you guessed it, 200 cals overall.
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Anyway, onto what I've been up too~
Today one of my friends told me she was bulimic. I was... seriously surprised.
Well, actually, I always suspected she had an ED of some sort. She told me she purged about 2 times a week.
I once tried it but I was too cowardly and couldn't bring myself to do it. I prefer starving ♥
I wanted to tell her about my eating habits, but decided against it. I kept my mouth tightly zipped.
Ah, also... I cut myself last night. And today. It was the first time I'd done it.
I felt so fat and disgusting and I wanted to feel something else... anything else... So I picked up a knife that has, like, zig-zaggy bits on it and repeatedly slashed at my left arm. I look like a freakin' zebra.
Then today, I binged and as punishment I decided to get a different knife (this one was pretty sharp) and went over my cuts from the night before.
I wore long sleeves today, but because I'm so used to pushing them up I kept finding them rolled up halway through class. Urgh...
If anyone asks I'll just say I fell in a bush or something... Gahh..
The thing is... I don't feel guilty about cutting. I'm enjoying it..? I like looking over the cuts and it comforts me when I touch them.
Sick and disgusting, I know.
Thinspo of the day;
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-M xoxo
(P.S Add me on MyFitnessPal : http://www.myfitnesspal.com/skinnykatxx )
"Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going."
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